the masculine urge to survive the next 4 years

absolutely real talk this went through so little editing but we felt it had to be archived somehow. are some zines best left in drafts? maybe. the past couple weeks have us real shaken up. we’re taking care of each other best we can. that’s about all anyone can do, i think.

suppose it’s coming out time, maybe i’ll regret this, but it’s sort of important context for the next 4 years and comprehending the zines going forward. we are a collective, yest, but we have Dissociative Identity Disorder (you might know it better as multiple personality). the body we share is visibly Mexican American, and was assigned female at birth.

it’s been truly destabilizing to have fought and scraped most of the past 10 years to escape from abusive family (physically and financially) and finally to think we might have a very secure job with decent legal protections and good health insurance. only to have it all stripped away so suddenly, and throw us right back into this fucking awful limbo again.

good news, it’s nothing new. good news, we can take care of each other and get through this the same way we have always gotten through everything. together.

bad news, it’s basically impossible to pretend we’re all not sharing the same body, and that i (despite kind of being a white dudebro) am facing the same level of discrimination as a gender nonconforming queer latina woman for the next four years. because when people look at the body, they don’t see me (jack). they see nepenthe, because it’s really HER body.

more good news, we got on testosterone in november. thank goodness, because it’s looking like the current admin has every intention of making that process as difficult as humanly possible in the future.

more bad news, i’ll have to revise the statement about never charging for zine access. because, goddamn, that statement was kind of contingent on being employed in one of the most secure jobs in the USA. most secure until last monday, anyways.

wish us luck. take care of each other out there. be brave, be safe, don’t be a snitch.